ANTILOG_07June26a

[WORK_RECORD] - The Refcards-Project. Sunday, May 31, 2026 / 11h34.

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ANTILOG_07June26a

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2026-06-07 05:37:13

- After I left off in yesterday's antilog, I maintained the same oscillatory pattern and rhythm as usual in the workspace; I took tons of important notes on Refcards, printed research + my own previous antilogs to situate/orient myself in my workday and catch any errors in the text itself; I went for a second walk, not a long one; later on, I met with my main collaborator K. for a video call of just over an hour, recorded a new video presentation, read a little, and went to bed;- I was worried at one point yesterday that I was unable to finish the day's work within the confines of the workday, but found that in the end I was able, though sometimes I come close to getting behind in my work; losing track of my "position", if you will, within the laboratory, is something I try to avoid, my orientation, but really, truth be told, I lose my bearings constantly; the thing is, I immediately find myself again in a powerful, sudden realization; the workspace was designed for this, to always find the thread when I am lost; it all comes back down to the configuration of the workspace and the exposed surface; plus, the archives were designed with findability in mind; I call it The Art of The Found;
- I also recorded several audio notes while outdoors "in the field" yesterday and some videos I ́posted on Instagram and threads; about finding myself again in the workspace, the workspace is also designed for serendipitous discovery; it's the main reason I kept an archive of all my artwork and research in the first place; I'm always finding what I call "prior art", always the perfect piece at precisely the right moment; yesterday I was looking at some pages I wrote on the typewriter in November, 2009, and had the sudden realization that I've been working formally on my workspace theory at least since then, by reading documents I didn't even remember I had written; it consolidated and strengthened my belief that I am not in fact crazy, that I have a rigorous amd comprehensive, experimental design workflow management methodology that works seamlessly and that is perfectly adapted to the kind of interdisciplinary art-research work that I've been doing for decades, in The Art Operation at The Historiotheque;
- Right now I'm finishing my morning coffee and reviewing the work I did yesterday + also reviewing the last week's worth of work, as part of my weekly and monthly retrospectives; I also do "seasonal" retrospectives, biannual, yearly, and ones for various phases of my life and career; I a realizing how far I've come over the years, what amazing progress has been made; I've been critized extremely harshly in my career as an artist; people didn't understand what I was doing, told me that my work was incoherent, that I myself was incoherent, that it didn't make any sense, that it was "word salad" one of my closest friends told me about my poetry at the time; others spread rumors that I was "criminally insane", I've also had people write graffiti on my artwork or otherwise deface it, other works were stolen, and entire collections were destroyed either by "iconoclasts" I guess you could call them, or else water damage; other work, especially all my works in larger formats, had to be abandoned by the side of the road because I couldn't fit them in the truck I had rented for moving my art studio to another location;
- I've lost so much work, that has to be the reason I spent so much time refining and refining my archival work, my work methodologies in general, so that that never happens again, because if I am being frank, it was quite hurtful, all of that stuff; I'm not a victim of intimidation anymore, though, or criminal harassment, violence, not the way I was back in those days; some say we attract that sort of stuff, though I'm not quite sure that was the case; I think that when you're doing cutting-edge work as an artist, there's just a general tendency to being persecuted, and I think it's always been that way; people will dismiss your entire existence if even for a millisecond they think you aren't making any sense, like if you lose your train of thought or take a tangent while speaking to them; again, they will think you are "criminally insane", all because fundamentally it was THEIR "comprehension problem"; they were unable to comprehend, that's their fault, not mine; to me and to those closest to me today, my work is profoundly coherent; granted, I've improved quite a bit in my writing and speaking and whatnot, over the years; all of this comes with the territory, though; people will shout at you, will persecute you, all because in the end you were being sincere and doing great work and maybe they were offended by that somehow; I still don't quite understand the phenomenon 100%, but I've seen it happen to other artists; it seems the closer you get to the "truth" if you will, "aesthetic truth" let's call it, the more it offends people;
- I'm not going to print out and review these notes and then maybe make some music on the computer - with headphones on - or else do research, maybe do some reading of one of the many books I have presently "on the go"; I've been trying to finish A Writer's Diary by Dostoevsky, which is a masterpiece unlike most of his writings; it almost reads like a blog, with rather long entries; I recently ordered a book of writings by Erik Satie and am really looking forward to reading that; Satie is probably my favorite composer of all time; he really speaks to me as a composer, but also as a general fan of great music; he's also had a huge influence on my piano composition; I often try to emulate his complex harmonies when I improvize on the piano; I'm actually recording piano and organ compositions these days, every week I try to record a few pieces as part of my Seasons of The Heart Project, the year-long, secular, liturgical song cycle that I've been working on for many years; there seems to be something about the practice of musical composition that is hard to describe sometimes; it takes so much discipline and hard work; sometimes I think it's even worse than an internal martial art; you have to be so solid, and it requires so much patience and perseverance, stamina, strength, everything else you can think of, of that nature and in that general vein; anyway I need to print this out and review it immediately so I know in what direction I want to take today's work; Stay tuned...